Grandma's Letters

Back home after her grandmother's funeral, Libby looked up sadly as her mother handed her a thick packet of envelopes, tied together with purple ribbon. "The last time Grandma came home from the hospital, she gave these to me and said she wanted you to have them after she was gone. She loved you very much, you know." Silently, Libby gave her mother a hug and took the envelopes. In her grandmother's handwriting, the first envelope said, "OPEN FIRST".

Libby's mother watched as her daughter slowly walked off, holding the packet of letters to her breast. She had been so worried about the way Libby had been handling her grandmother's death. She had refused to talk to any of her friends and had barely eaten, preferring instead to be alone in her room with her memories.

Upstairs in the privacy of her room, Libby slowly untied the packet of envelopes, closed her eyes, and held the purple ribbon to her cheek for a few moments. Reverently setting the ribbon aside, Libby carefully opened the first envelope and started to read.

"My Dearest Libby,
     I know you miss me but please know that I will always be with you. I walked next to you at my funeral to give you courage. I am sitting beside you on your bed as you read this letter (see how well I know you, Dear?). I will proudly hold your hand as you graduate from high school and then college. I will be standing next to you with a purple hanky on your wedding day, and I will be there to share each and every special moment of your life.
     The day I realized I may not be on this earth with you much longer, I sat down and wrote a letter to you and have written one every day since. Some of them are memories of the two of us together and some are what I hope your future contains but all are from my heart to yours and are meant to ease your pain and keep me always in your heart and memory.
     There is no particular order to them. I will leave it up to you whether you want to read them all at once or open the letters one at a time - on a rainy day, when you are feeling particularly lonesome, just missing me, or having a bad day and needing to know how much someone loved you.
     I must close for now, my dearest Libby, but do not be sad. Be happy for the times we shared together, both the good and bad. Now go and make more memories for your future and know that I will always be nearby.
Love and Kisses Forever,
Grandma"

Libby put her head down and lovingly held the letter to her breast for a few moments. The she stood, took a deep breath and smiled as a warm feeling came over her. She folded the letter, neatly tied the stack together again, and put them in her nightstand drawer. She walked into the kitchen and told her mother she was going out for awhile but would be home in time for dinner. She called her best friend, Shyla, and they agreed to meet at the bookstore for coffee and talk. Libby's mother was thrilled as she watched her daughter pick up an apple as she went out the door. She closed her eyes, smiled, and said, "Thanks, Mom."

Single With Reason

People have asked me many times about the last time I was in a relationship and assume I want to be in one again in the future. Some do not seem, even as they moan about about how difficult one is or complain about their significant other, to believe I want to be alone forever. There are times, of course, that I think it would be nice to have someone who cares enough to ask where I am, what I want to do that day, or even just to snuggle with on a cold morning. Then, I remember! Not just the warm and fuzzy moments but the other parts, the annoying, the sometimes extremely annoying parts.

I like being alone. I like having no one to explain anything to, no one to pick up after, no one to have to consider when I want to do something on the spur of the moment. I like having everything my way and everything in its place. I have had grandsons spend a week or more at a time with me and it reminds me of how nice it is to be alone. No one changes things, there are no wet towels on the floor, things in the wrong place, and there is nothing on the floor that doesn't belong there. I sweep less. I vaccum less. I mop less. I do not stumble over things on the floor. Because I take off my shoes when I walk in, I eat in the kitchen over a plate, I clean up after myself and I put things away.

I say that if I ever fall and can't get up, it will be a neighbor who smells my rotting body or someone from work who comes looking for me that will finally notice I am missing. It is a joke and (being a Catholic mother) my way to guilt daughters into calling but it is also true. I do not care, however. I do miss them and get lonesome when there are no grandchildren staying with me or calling me for a ride somewhere or other. It only takes three days at most of any of them staying over to remind me that I do not have a man in my life or a roommate for a reason.

Not Your Typical Grandma

My grandchildren tell me I am not a "normal" Grandma and that's what they love about me. I wrestle with the little ones, throwing them around, putting them in a scissor hold, and making them say, "Uncle" or any other word or phrase I am in the mood to hear. I walked outside one day where my 10-year-old grandson was playing with his new neighbor. My sweet boy saw me, ran straight at me, and attacked. The new neighbor boy had a look of horror on his face that this old lady was going to get knocked down and his new friend was going to be in deep trouble. I promptly "took my grandson down" and then danced around like a football player who just made a touchdown. The new boy's look turned from horrified to impressed and I heard, "Man! Your grandma's strong.

Still a kid myself, I love to scare my grandchildren, embarrass them, and let them laugh at me when I can't do the things they can. I am no good at the video games they are so awesome at, I can't lift as many pounds as the teenagers can, and I am not about to try the parkour that seems second nature to them. Jumping over picnic tables, flying through the air and up poles and trees are things that I pass on. When I see a bench, I think it is a nice place to take a break. The kids think it is something to fly over. They can say, "C'mon, Grandma; just try it" all they want. It is not going to happen. Ok...maybe I'll try some of it, especially the weight lifting. If my feet can stay flat on the ground, I am game.

Playing with my grandchildren is what keeps me young. While I do enjoy peace and quiet and have times of

solitude when I meditate or sit with my eyes closed and listen to nature, I also have to keep active. I fell and injured my knees and was afraid of falling again for a long time. I had constant pain and was supposed to have a knee operation but when I started climbing stairs, swimming, and going for walks, they improved so much that I do not even consider that option, at least for now and hopefully never. I can't imagine a life in a rocking chair, watching life go by. The kids are more likely to come to Grandma if they want to do something active. My daughters are fit and enjoy walks and an occasional hike but I am the one who is probably going to say yes to going to the park or to play basketball or disc golf.

Get out of your chair and get fit. You don't have to go rock climbing to stay in shape. Doing one thing

different can start you on your way to good health. Some people have health problems through no fault of their own but when most are feeling tired, sick, and old, it is time to take get out of that chair and do something about it. Look at what is going into the body: vegetables and fruits or fast food and t.v. dinners? What is going on physically? Sitting in front of the t.v. every night or taking a walk with a friend?

Keeping Safe

photo by click at morguefile.com

There are many simple things that we as women can do to protect ourselves. Most of us, if not in all, have gotten into a bad situation because we have done something without thinking. By 50, we usually know better but, being in a hurry, did it anyway "just this one time". Practicing good habits can sometimes keep us out of those situations because we do them automatically. Preventing trouble is easier than trying to get out of it.

photo by Alvimann, morguefile.com

1. Be confident, even when you do not feel it. You do not want to look or act like an easy target.
2. Always be aware of your surroundings and park in a well-lit area. When returning to your vehicle have your keys in hand and make eye contact if anyone is nearby.
3. Check your backseat before unlocking your car and be suspicious of a van sitting next to it, especially if there is a male in the passenger seat (next to your driver's side door).
4. Never get into a vehicle with your attacker if there is any other option. You are taking a chance when running away screaming "help" but at least you have a chance. If you enter a vehicle with an assailant, you can be driven to a secluded area where there will be no help.
5. When you are at home, keep your doors and windows locked. Do not open the door to a stranger, even in the daytime.
6. Whether you are at home or out and about, be cautious and trust your instincts.

Take a self-defense course with a qualified instructor. Start with the police or sheriff's department in your area. They can refer you to a class or they  may have courses taught by their own instructors. Your community center, YWCA/YMCA, library personnel, or local Parks and Recreation Center are other good sources.

Benefits of Squats

I recently took a challenge a friend re-posted on Facebook. Click on  30-Day Squat Challenge if you are interested. Before starting it, I researched how to do it properly and safely. I was especially concerned about my knees but found out that, rather than being bad for them, squats can actually help when they are done correctly. This challenge has gotten so popular you have probably heard of it already. It has made the rounds of Facebook. The only thing I don't like is that the girl in the photo that was used seems to have her knees over her toes and that is a big no-no. As always, it is a good idea to ask your doctor before beginning squats or any other exercise.

Here are two videos showing the correct squat technique you may be interested in watching before you begin doing squats, whether or not you take the challenge:

       Amber Nimedez with livestrong.com

       CrossFit Squat with Rob Ord

I also watched some Denise Austin videos but could not find one with only squats. I learned from her to combine my exercises. While doing the squats, I included arm exercises that were not only great but helped me to have more fun with this tough challenge. I made sure to "squeeze and hold" each time I came back up to my starting position for pelvic strengthening. Besides my daughter, Kim Mosby of Sunshine Yoga, Denise is my absolute favorite fitness guru. I love that they are both about total fitness, including nutrition. Denise lives what she teaches. Her daughter Katie is now following in her footsteps and creating her own fitness videos.

Dr. Joseph Mercola lists 8 benefits of doing squats, from building muscles in your whole body to waste elimination. The 'great and powerful' Dr. Oz is a big believer in squats, especially beneficial as we age. According to doctoroz.com, "Squats are the ultimate butt-building exercise." For the challenge, you start with 50 and have a rest day every third day, ending on day 30 with 250 squats.

It is easier and more fun than you can imagine. Don't let fear stop you from beginning your healthy and fit lifestyle.  There are many tools you can find to ensure you are doing any exercise correctly and get sculpted and toned.

Disc Golf is for Any Age or Fitness Level

I played disc golf for the first time this morning. It was a lot of fun and much more suited to cold weather than 'club golf'. Another plus is that it is free and, being a fast-growing sport, can be found in many public parks around the country. It is also much easier to bring a set of disc clubs in your carry-on bag than lugging golf clubs through the airport. Click on PDGA Course Directory to find a course in your area. You can use your zip code, city, or state. This is a good site if you are planning to travel and want to find a course to relieve some stress while on business or some good, free family fun on vacation.

I was surprised to find that the game, now at a high peak of popularity, had its first American Flying Disc Open in 1974 in Rochester, New York. According to the Professional Disc Golf Association (PDGA), the origin of the game cannot be determined but "the first known instance of anyone playing golf with a flying disc occurred in Vancouver BC in 1926".  Players throw a disc (it looks much like a frisbee) toward a basket with chains. The disc hits the chain and then drops down into the basket. Like the game of golf, players take turns throwing their disc as they get closer to the basket. You can play with just one or several different ones. There is even a disc putter to sink it in when you are close to the basket.

A set of  beginner discs can be bought here online or found in stores in your area. Some local community centers have some that can be checked out for use. As disc players get better at the sport, they learn what type works best for their style. Personally, I am already hooked and plan to continue. My daughter and son-in-law leave their discs in their car ready to go when the mood strikes. I'm sure I'll be doing the same. I'm very excited that I have found something I can play with friends my own age, my children, and my grandchildren. Happy golfing!

Boost Your Brain Power

I find time daily to keep my mind active. I read my bible and anything else I can get my hands on. I play Concentration and Old Maid with my granddaughter and I'm looking forward to playing chess again with my grandson who lives in another state. I am happy that I am the one who got him interested in it. I'm not very good at it, though, and I expect he will have far surpassed me by the time we play again.

I love backgammon but have no one to play it with so I play online. My favorite place to play against the computer is at Motif Backgammon and I usually go there at least once a day either when I have writer's block, just for fun or to relieve stress. It is not easy but even when I lose, it makes me a better player on other sites. There are easy-to-understand instructions, the history of backgammon, and the rules and etiquette of playing the game. For those who already know how to play backgammon, click on Motif to go directly to the site.

Luminosity is an excellent place to train your brain no matter what you may need improvement on: memory, problem solving, attention, or any other area of your brain you want to strengthen. Just as we need to keep our bodies in shape, it is also important to exercise our minds. Luminosity offers a few games for free and a training program for a limited time. For those interested in taking it further, you can get personalized training, access to all the brain stimulating games, and performance tracking. Cost for full access runs from $4.95 a month for two years to $299.00 for a lifetime subscription. Don't let the prices scare you. Not only is your brain worth it, you can play for free.

Have you tried the Frog Leap? I had a lot of fun teasing friends of all ages with this one. Brain Bashers has a large variety of brain teasers for everyone. I signed up for a free account at Great Day Games and have a few favorites. Some are slow to load or play but others are loads of fun. I rarely play backgammon there because you can only play against the computer and it set up to play one way and the odds are in the player's favor. While it might sound good to win most of the time, it can be boring.

Have fun, stay active, and play like you're still 5!